5 Ways to Get Your Family on the Water Part 1
5 ways to get your family on the water without throwing yourself into an emotional pit of despair that makes you regret every decision you have ever made.
Listen, I get it. I have 4 kids, each with their own very distinct personality. And maybe it’s a joke from the good Lord above that they inherited their mother’s strong will (I blame their mother because I am perfect in every way). Okay, maybe they’re not full on stubborn (I do expect my wife to read this one day). Let’s just call it “determined”. You get what I’m throwing out there, right?
I also get that life is busy. Playing taxi between school and extracurricular activities takes time. And, let’s be real, simply navigating this COVID-19 pandemic fills our days from start to finish. The days seem to blend together. I don’t mark actual days on the calendar like I used to. I log my days by the intervals of time between liquor store runs. Each time I go, I have this internal conversation going. It goes something like this:
Has it been at least 3 days since I last went to buy booze? I certainly don’t want the liquor store guy to judge me. I’m pretty sure last time I was there he gave me a look of concern. But, it’s been at least a week, (it hasn’t). And, you know what?! Screw that liquor store guy! He’s not the boss of me!
All of this just makes time feel like it’s moving at warp speed. It’s like one day your kids are born and the next they are off to college and somewhere along the way you got old. Time passes in a flash and it’s up to us as parents to make sure we carve out a moment or two so that we can truly connect with our kids.
OK I’m going to slow this down real fast. There is a possibility that you are reading this and building your own fantasy. You might see yourself on the water with your family and all is going perfect… you’re all paddling along, ducks in a row, perfect form, sun shining, without a care in the world. And hey, maybe that will come true. I hope it does, but I also know that there is a portion of us over here that may be a little shell-shocked from past outings and hesitant to take this on.
As I stated in the beginning, I get it. There is nothing worse than putting in all this effort and having it go horribly wrong. Let’s face it, we’re all at different levels on the water. The kids might be new to paddling. Or, they may not even want to go. Hell, your spouse who may be busy plotting covert ops to the liquor store may not want to go. But trust me—stick with it. Get out there and make some good memories. In the end it will be worth it.
So I’ll start with the most important thing. Ok hear me out. This is the most important step you need to remember other than step 2, which is also very very important.
Step 1: Remove all forms of expectation
Remember all those busy lives we were talking about? The lives of your kids, your spouse, hell, the family dog. I know it’s hard to imagine, but we as parents are not the center of those lives. We cannot expect those lives to stop spinning on the second they load up into the family car and head to the water. Water does have the power to let some of that mental baggage just float along with us while we’re out there. However, nothing has the power to completely wash it away.
The best we can hope for is a moment, ever so brief, when we can look across the water at your family and see genuine smiles. That’s where the foundation is laid. From there, whatever you choose to do together, whether it be hiking, going to the mall, etc., will be time well spent. And who knows? In time it may be them who suggest a family outing. That’s when you’ll know you are on the right track. But I digress.
We’re talking about all forms of expectation here. This not only includes how the day is going but also the different ability levels of your family members. Yes, your whole family knows that you were a football star and they really don’t care, especially as they try to work up the courage to stand and balance on a paddle board for the first time. No one cares that you were a gymnast when you were younger and how balance is second nature for you… and that standing up is easy… and that everyone should do yoga to gain its positive effects for your core. As the person who probably instigated this outing, your job is to be unconditionally supportive, PERIOD.
Trust me, there is no finer satisfaction than having your smart ass teenager act like it’s no big deal to stand and then watch him or her shake and show a fear of falling into the water. Please, do your family a favor—keep it to yourself. It’s the perfect opportunity to show them that you have their back. And let’s be honest, that’s all they really want… and not just there on the water, but in life.
The same goes for your partner. Listen, I know they never put the dishes away and it drives you crazy. Nor do they offer to refill your cup with coffee when they get up to refill theirs. But try to leave that stuff at home. Remember, our lives back on land may seem like they’re spinning out of our control. Here, on the water, the best thing you can do is be in the moment and forgive him/her for not doing the things that always work in your best interest. Remember that you are a team and in that moment, when you’re helping each other on the water, they will remember it.
Tony Carreon
Product Development
tony@birdislandoutfitters.com
